look away

'i need to get out there. i'm meant for more than this'
you spoke quietly as you looked out over the harbour, soaking up the last of the sunset with every nicotine laced breath. all i could do was hold your hand and nod. i knew this meant leaving, i knew it meant without me.

you'd come back again, be happy for a week and subsequently sink back into the old routine of silence, smoking and being completely without cause. sometimes it just tires me out, having to check on you constantly. i know you stopped living a long time ago, sometimes i just have to look away.